new home page! art talk, and some personal updates

Hello!

Well, long silence just then from me. Things have either been shifting so quickly, week-to-week to really pin down a blog report, or I've just been very busy working on things!

Because of necessity [mothering invention], I finally got my www.chedal.org website back up!

It's a very simple page, nothing fancy, but it serves my purposes just fine at the moment and gives a good front end to my artwork.

Which brings me to art. I've been working on rescanning and photographing my art with the intent of putting a selection of it on image kind so that you can buy art prints of my work! It's a simple system, all print-on-demand, so they take care of all the printing and shipping, leaving me time to just make more artwork.
:)

In the mean time I've also been casually looking for a space to expose my work, as it is a major objective of this year, but I am not sure right now if it's going to squeeze into the schedule.

Personally now, there have been a lot of varying directions. Two potential women with whom I could have forged a relationship - but didn't, alternative plans to Portland considered and pulling me in different directions, my mothers move from Amsterdam to France taking longer than expected and a lot of time spent on my horticultural software development.

I'm very much just going with the flow right now, and honestly still not sure where life is going to take me this year. I feel right now more like a leaf on a calm river than an arrow aiming for a target. My days are spent at home, working on projects, or helping my mother - costs are low, but there is no income to speak of - so there are eventual limits to this phase.

In a few days I leave again for France, this time we are going to Montpelier, I've visited there before - some 8 or 9 years ago with two friends: Ruby and Chimed - and loved it. So I think it will be a good place for my mother to settle... warm Mediterranean sea, mountains and forest close at hand, lots of art, music, concerts, theater, good weather, nice people... it sounds good to me.

Hope you are all having a good year, mine has been filled already with the symbology of Mars, ideals of work ethics, environmental work, programming and art work.

Bye again for now, hope you like the new home page + art work.
:)

With kind,

Sebastian.

The Last Hours of Ancient Sunlight - book review

Another book, another accolade.

"The last hours of ancient sunlight" by Thom Hartmann, is an excellent book.

Amazingly every book I pick up lately has immense value.

Where as Ken Wilber's book focussed on the evolution of our culture in the last 6,000 years to modern day differentiation of "man over nature" or the "ascended/descended" principle, Thom Hartmann takes another approach and compares "modern" man to ancient man. What he calls the "New Cultures" from the last 6,000 years and the "Old cultures" which have existed [and still do today] since [at least] the last 200,000 years.

The comparative is exhaustive and elaborates in solid-crack-free logic the reasons for our world/environmental crisis.

The book is divided into three parts, the first of which details the current world problems, the second details our cultural problems, and the third provides solutions - most of which are purely cultural.

Thom tackles head-on all of the common arguments people use when defining our world situation, including:

* "It's man nature to be dominant/destroy/be greedy" etc.
* "A solution will come/be invented to resolve things"
* "Modern civilized life is much better than uncivilized life"
* "If we are taking over the planet and "replacing" Older cultures [only 1% of the population today still practices Old Culture ways] it is because we are 'superior' or it is natural-evolution"

Thom also chronologically describes our New Culture as a deviation from Older cultures effectively and maps out the values and moral codes of Old Cultures around the world from Native Americans to African, Latin American & Asia.

From his wide experiences with these different Old Cultures he has come up with a wide array of differences between their culture, which has been ours for the last 200,000 years [minus the 0 to 6,000 years date at which point it was subdued into the "new culture"], and ours.

These Older Cultures are sustainable by nature. Humans, for the last 200,000+ years have evolved fine-tuned cultural systems that have worked precisely because they are sustainable. So a sustainable mind-set is not something we have never had, a sustainable mind-set is something which we all come from. What has changed is a cultural "forgetting".

It would seem then that the "solution" to our current problem is to take the best of Older Cultures and to merge them with our current lives. If we are to survive, it is the re-integration of cultural value which will prevail.

I present some of them here in a table:

Older culture	New culture
Cooperative	Dominator
Leadership a duty	Leadership is power
Local	Large
Diverse and unique	Monoculture
Long term thinking	Short term thinking
Respective of environment and identity of others	Consumptive of environment and absorptive/destructive to other cultures
Conscious rituals	Passive ritualization
Sharing of resources	Ownership and control in the hoarding of goods and resources
See's war as vulgar and unnecessary	See's war as exciting, horrible and dramatic
Political independence	Political dependence
Food, water, shelter and energy self sufficiency	Food, water, shelter and energy dependancy
Promotes individual-spiritual-actualization	Prevents spiritual actualization

One of the most important items in this list is the second to last one: Self sufficiency. Before I had read this book, I still did not see clearly the importance of self sufficiency of basic necessities. However, now I see this very clearly. If you can provide your own food, shelter, clothing and energy - then you have basic safety and security. Our society, for all its flare and dazzle, provides neither of these - work is uncertain, homelessness real for many, pressure to work to pay rent is very pervasive... and yet the tribal-unit [Old Cultures] provide this for their members as a basic-building block. In fact, contrary to common-myth, Older Culture people actually end up having more free time - even after tackling their needs of food, clothing, shelter and energy - than Younger Cultures do. This pressure to continue to work to pay bills, this need to be dependant is paramount to the system's ability to survive. Human dependent capital ensures the dominator scheme can continue.

Independence from this dominant culture requires living independently... once you can ensure your basic needs, you no longer have a need to work at jobs you don't like, you don't have to do things you don't believe in, you don't even have to pay "taxes" if you don't think the money is going to the right places [actually I don't think taxes are necessary at all! as the majority of the Older Cultures has never had a concept of taxes in its 200,000 years of their existence and taxation has historically always been a means for feudal/fascist/royal New Culture systems to amalgamate wealth/power]. Instead communities care for every member in their group and projects which require larger man-power are things which the community then band together to achieve. So everything that taxes are supposed to do: pay for schools, build roads, health care" etc. are all things which are dealt with easily by a functioning tribe/community of people.

* "It's man nature to be dominant/destroy/be greedy" etc.

Thom states that this has not always been the case, in fact, for the last 200,000 years it's only in the last 16,000 or so that there has been any fluctuation. Previously it was such that if another person in a tribe were to become greedy or dominant that they would eventually lead their tribe to its own self-destruction. In fact, this has been the case with our "New Culture" repeatedly in the past as well. The Romans, the Chinese [two dynasties], the Incas, the Sumarians, the Babylonians, the Egyptians... and on and on. "New Cultures" are not sustainable because of their cultural ehtos. Put simply, "to dominate another is to destroy yourself" - it's just that the effects are not immediate to us as they often span generations; but the cycle is very clear.

This view of "human's are inherently corruptible/bad/evil etc." or "this planet will probably be better off without us" mentality is actually a view-point from our Younger Culture and precisely one of the cultural problems. This negative standpoint is what permits negative behavior to continue, and what makes it seemingly impossible for anything else to ocure.

There are countless stories from all Older Cultures all around the world that echo identical patterns as they were approached by New Cultures. The most common response in the Pacific, Africa and the America's to "conversion" to Christianity was a perplexion to the concept of "man being innately evil/sinful". They would respond with confusion and say: "how can that be true"?

Thom is very careful to state that the problem is not in the people, its in the culture. It's our 'story' we tell ourselves about something that affects the way we see the world and the way we behave.

As the New Culture has spread throughout the world it offered Older Cultures very little in the ways of options. Whereas Old Cultures are inherently respective of other cultures [they respect and promote diversity], New Cultures are absorptive. You either adapt to our culture [by becoming "civilized"] or you are destroyed. We can see this in history, and today, everywhere - the options an Older Culture has are few they can:

- Give in
[and be absorbed/enslaved as the Haitians, Africans and millions of others have been]
- Fight back
[which fails because they adopt the same tactics as their enemy and essentially adopt younger culture views in the process]
- Run away
[which works as long as there is somewhere to run to]

* "A solution will come/be invented to resolve things"

While a solution may come to replace oil, to help agriculture move away from pollutants and in other areas, none of this will solve the core of the problem. The core of the problem is cultural - and I completely agree with Thom on this point. Until we stop living consumptively, the problem will only persist and get worse before it gets better.

This "New Culture" attitude also has a "someone else" will fix it mantra [or "some god will fix it"] - as long as we keep this attitude, no change will occur. It's a fixative belief that keeps the culture from shifting by promoting apathy.

* "Modern civilized life is much better than uncivilized life"

Well, I've already gone into this above, but basically we work more for less free time, and we have no or little security. So less free time, and less security in exchange for... more things. But what is the value of things? A roof and enough food to eat will make me happy, but a new ipod and a fancy new dress will only make me momentarily happy if I am still unsure about whether my job will be here tomorrow or if i can pay all my bills.

It is also possible to combine our ideals. We can live in a world where we value the individual and still retain all the good things that come with modern life. All the values I hold from modern life are transferable and technology itself [often cited as the thing we don't want to loose] is not dependent on a globalized or dominant culture. On the contrary, if I had more free time because basic needs are full-filled it would allow me, and many others, to pursue more areas of intellectual interest - such as: technological/artistic/musical/philosophical developments...

* "If we are taking over the planet and "replacing" Older cultures [only 1% of the population today still practices Old Culture ways] it is because we are 'superior' or it is natural-evolution"

First of all, there is no way to say that our culture is more suitable to life on earth than another until we are far enough down the line of time that we can look back and ask ourselves if one culture outlived another. Frankly the way we are going there is so much environmental pressure from our culture that it seems impossible to imagine that this "better" culture will survive the test of time unless it dramatically shifts its way of thinking.

Secondly, just because one culture is willing to kill [either literally or culturally] another to absorb them, doesn't mean it is 'superior'. If I walk into a room with a gun and shoot and kill 20 other people we all know [i hope] that this does not that mean I am superior to them. And yet our culture spreads around the world very much like cancer does in the body. Our culture replicates itself and when it comes into contact with another it offers it very limited options [join ours or be destroyed] - if anything, our culture is "sick" not "superior". A "superior" culture, in my mind, would be one that valued others, didn't build weapons of war [because it understood that even developing weapons of war is robbing the future of resources and always destroys, financially or literally, the civilization it comes from], and was in balance with its environment.

I can't really discuss these issues any better than Thom Hartmann can, so if you want to get into this subject and learn a whole lot about what problems we are facing, why we have cultural problems, and what we can do about it, I urge you to grab from the library a copy of this book! You won't regret it.

I hope my summary has proven insightful.

[next post I will go into my own personal decisions and directions]

With kind,

Sebastian.

The Story Of Stuff:

Hello!

More from me soon, its been quite simply because there has been so much going on that I can't keep up with my blog lately!

But to keep you warm, here is an excellent online info-story I would recommend as essential viewing:

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

Make sure you pass this link on to anyone you think needs a wake-up!

post year end

greetings, happy holidays!!!!

well in the last weeks much has happened. I went to Antwerp, Belgium to see Ada and had a great time drinking Belgian beer, meeting her friends, getting into fashion [thanks to ada's obsession] and eating incredibly good foreign food.

after that it was back to Amsterdam to work on packing with my mom so that she can be ready for january 4th and having a wonderful Christmas dinner with Simon - who managed to convert me fully into itunes library functions, cover art work features etc.... what a huge administrative processes to update though! but it is fun.
:)

at the moment I am considering still the option of london over portland - an unexpected moment of second reflection - to determine what is best i'm trying to compare my goals with those offered by both locations - along with other factors. i feel like either option will be good, so its just a question of really finding out what is best for me at the moment. i'll be in london between january 4th and the 7th to this effect.

i feel very rational right now, its as if everything i did this year has purged my soul of a need to ractify emotional disbalance and the result is that I feel terribly left-brain focussed now. 2008 shall be a practical year, a year where my creative dreams realize themselves into reality and they are met with positive recognition. a year where i am able to earn my money from activities that i believe in. A year with my sleves roled up - as it were- getting down to business now. this is what i feel is necessary now in my on going development: pure passionate plathoric output.

having focussed so strongly on philisophical and emotional issues related to truth, love, reality etc. has made me reach a point where i cant see any further development at the moment - things are all coming full circle; the knowledge i have learned basically denies while proving itself - thus providing no further progress. it is like trying to resolve a paradox to itself.

Whenever i reach a point where no progress is possible, i generally seek to shift direction into another avenue where progress is possible - taking with me all i just learned - this does have disadvantages as it does imply a lack of dedication to one specific topic; but thus far the benefits have been significant; its a long term benefit though, not short term, as the continual shifting of focus makes it much harder to obtain results in any one field.

Although at the moment I am not that focussed on astrology, like i was in 2005, a friend of mine passed me this link to the 'mood' for 2008 - which coincidentally is the exact mood which i wish to enter: a year of strong Capricorn [practical] influences. these influences are for all of us, so if you are into astrology, give it a read, its pretty good:

http://www.starpathways.com/current.htm

Truths of love in a sea left of wonder.

i had a really nice time in spain with Josiane. We rented a car - drove around costa brava, visited beautiful beaches, the mountains and even the little commercial petrol-shopping enclave of Andorra. So much love, a really special person, beautiful times.

Photos from our trip [first week uploaded, second week still needs to be uploaded as I find time to do so]:

Seb's Photo album ONE

Speaking photos, I also scanned an older art journal of mine, from 2004/5, you can find that album on my art site:

2004 / 5 Journal [year Of elves and saturn]

in looking back at 2007 I can say already that the majority of my dreams/vision board items have evolved, come true or taken form.

I am no longer allergic to coconut, and I can now drink coffee in moderation without ailments - my health is excellent. Youpie!

Financially I am doing fine, and within my long term limits I set for myself, its been interesting this year working only a few months in the summer and then just living by as little as possible the rest of the time.

Most people assume that traveling takes up a lot of money, but given that you don't have to pay rent [which can easily be in the range of 300 to 1,200€ for different people/places]. The real costs of traveling are simply the hostels and forms of transportation you choose. Fortunately I have been able to find people with open homes here and there to mitigate those costs for quite some months. Camping or buying a vehicle to sleep in make you suddenly self reliant low-cost-worthy.

At this point though I am more than ready to get down to rolling my sleeves up. I have my wish/theme eagerly ready for 2008.

This 2007 year's wish was all focussed on the theme of "love". Since this has been an underlying focus, I have spent some significant amount of attention on this subject and learned so-so much.

There are so many different forms of love, and lately I have also been considering the limitations of truth and words in dealing with nearly any subject.

I learned this year that wishes happen even when you don't make wishes. The subconscious wish, a thought of suggestion, is enough to manifest reality. I have seen this occur now time and time again ever since I have started paying attention to my passing thoughts [positive or negative].

I learned a lot this year about the mind-creationist perspective to life - that all your life is formed by your own thoughts - call it attraction or manifestation.

On the flip-side, I've read powerful ideas regarding seeing system thinking and creationist approaches as simply diametrical concepts in a matrix of inner-outer and collective-subjective experiences.

I've seen the pattern of differentiation and then integration reflected in different ideas -be it in the flower of life, ken wilbers concepts of holons / holarchachy, or in my further understanding of love.

for love is in these terms really the release that allows freedom that allows creation.
We love something, and then ultimately our true test of that love is when we can let it go. Whether its loving your children, your partner or a friend - eventually a time will come when you must part each other. Either because of death, drifting or simply growing up.

We desire one-ness, or we come from one-nes [with childbirth] and then separation precludes growth. The saying goes: if you truly love someone/thing - you must set it free. This setting free process though is two fold. For by setting the other free - you set yourself free. And each time we let another person/thing free - we grow a little more, and a little bit more love lives on in this world.

This means that ultimately love is not about possession; but about profession. To "profess" love is to free yourself and others around you.

Krishnamurti has strong founded ideas on the subject; he states that there is only pain when we hold onto the memories of the past, or have fears of memories occurring in the future - but in the present, there is only the present, and only joy. This makes a lot of sense - we talk often about love in terms of commitment, or conditional vs. unconditional love; but there is also another deeper level of love, one which involves the freedom of mind from causal thought.

So love is both the force which draws two individuals to become one, and love is then the ability to allow two individuals to be unique. It is the becoming process as well as appreciation of the moment. Paradoxically it involves thus the absolution of time - as well as the process of time; but only the process of time in the sense that it is the 'becoming' - but not reflection of relative time itself. In other words, it is the result of time passing and one growing with time, but not the reflection of what things were [hopes and fears] or what will be [hopes and fears]. It is firmly bound to the ever evolving present.

In terms of truths, I have read a lot of material this year which makes sense, but is also contradicted by other philosophies. I find it fascinating that mind-creationist [seth/secret], holiarchical [k. wilber] and anti-athoritarian [krishnamurti] ideas can all make sense within their frame works, and yet still contradict each other.

The book "a stranger in a strangers land", a really good scifi book [I do recommend] that I just finished a few weeks ago, it too deals with its own realm of truths, which parallel and also contradict the other above mentioned alternative views - it touches very deeply on the ideas of love and life in its own way. Here again we see yet a different idea regarding the truth of reality, though the roots of the ideas have strong similarities.

Take for example the idea of aggression, action, change. You can call it what you like, but I am referring to the active principle here that manifests change. The male principle, or to the astrologist: the martian principles.

Change, action - is necessary to have life, to have thought, to have time. Without action, there would be stagnation. Seth's ideas state that aggression in the form of asserting boundaries is natural, an animal reacts if you step on its toe - a human should say something if they feel abused - where the issue resides is in the repression of that aggression because the reactions are more violent if repressed when finally expressed, and repression impedes growth - this is sound advice.

But then if you take krishnamurti's ideas, aggression in any form is unfounded, a negative - the logic is solid, though I can't summarize it yet because I am still half way through the book in which this concept is outlined.

These differences of truths is very possible in my mind-view, because I believe, for many years now, that every truth implies an opposite - equally valid truth, in fact, for any truth to exist, its opposite must be created to even allow a truth to be valid. You can't have light without dark, physical life without physical death, finite vs. infinite, oneness vs. individuality etc. etc.

Visually I see this every increasing breadth of truths forming as cells do, each new level of understanding is a split of cells from one into two. An idea expands by splitting into two new ideas, opposed and yet fundamentally identical.

If truth can't be absolute, if it is always context dependent, then it becomes very difficult to determine the value to any truth at all - because the context its self becomes meaningless - devoid of comparative worth to any fundamental baseline.

And yet there is a fundamental line of correctness, life is not random, there is a perpetual forward movement. There is not good and evil, there is simply good and that which seems evil in-order to en-richen the understanding of good. Just like there is no love vs. hate, there is only love and that which expresses hate because it desires love - but in essence there is only love.

So there is relative truth, since truth is deeply personal and context based: building a home for you may be bad for the birds that lived in the tree you cut down to make your home, but to you a home is also a home. And there is also relative truth in terms of values, what you learn has meaning because you are never what you were, you are always more, therefore what experiences [truths] you develop have relatively more value than those you held - even though from a different perspective both the present and past truths are equal, in your/our context they are relative. The two views contradict each other, because we are speaking of relative value while things have absolute identical value - but I think this contradiction only occurs when we forget to see that we are measuring truths in terms of time and personal value.

So to me it is very possible to say:

A = B
and yet A > B.

[this last bit was for the more math-orientated readers]

In my own process of ever evolving relative truths, my differentiation-integrations, in these last weeks of 2007 I feel that there is a complete separation now between my sense of self, my love for others [romantic or friendship], and my path.

I see now that friendship is an expression of the unconditional love. And that all so-called "good" relationships are based on this deep sense of everlasting friendships. And that this is independent of whether two people can and should live their lives together in parallel. The 'conditional' comes in when it involves the perpetuating of connection in physical/reality/practical-related terms.

This makes relationships now seem almost purely conceptual, as opposed to emotional. The two are separate now within me and operate in unison but they do not interfere [for the most part] which each other. I can "love" someone, and then decide that the best way for me/us/you to live is together, or separate - based on what is best for you/we/me - and this will in no way detract from that love, that 'friendship'.

I'm awed by how much I have learned, and I am left with amazement at the thought that I am only 31 years old now - so there is still so much more time to learn so many more things here... what will be the next new level of understanding I will achieve?

yes, I reside in that sea of awe and delightful everlasting loving wonder.

Life bouncing

Hello humans,

I've been back from France now for a few days, and I've already done another trip and back to Rotterdam in the mean time.

In France my mother and I did not find a permanent place for her to stay, but we did manage to find a temporary place for January which suits our plans amply enough to allow the process of my mothers move to continue.

On the last days in France, totally unexpected to me - I met a lady from Quebec named Josiane. Josiane is currently traveling through Spain on her way towards Morocco and Tunisia on a potentially long journey. She and I spent some nice times together at the hostel and by a beautiful lake. Since my return, we both decided to see each other again for longer. So this Tuesday I am off to meet up with her in Barcelona, Spain.

I'm excited and so very lucky indeed; this has been really quite the year for sure!

You can view photos of my stay in France on my first photo album:

http://picasaweb.google.com/schedal

Rotterdam was really nice, I had a really great time with Simon and other friends like Max, Leslie, Peter etc. Simon is such an inspiration in music. We saw a Múm live during the Icelandic music festival [we did some conning at the door to get in for free, as it was sold out...] and got a bit too drunk two nights in a row. Icelanders are very-very interesting people, just watching them between those far-too-many free schnapps shots was enough to fill the soul with new perspectives. All in all, Simon gave me loads of precious musical tips, and we had lots of really nice conversations.

I left Rotterdam with a more clear idea of how to focus my musical energies in the future, I'm drawn now to the idea of integrating acoustic and electronic methods together into a performance - not as a solo artist, but as a member within a band. I could see myself playing keyboards + electronic/acoustic percussives with my button bay more single-purposed to samples, editing effects and full-filling a role within a group performance... I'm definitely looking forward to the time when I will have a bit of location-stability so that i can continue to work on these musical ideas.

Flower of E8

You may have heard of the "flower of life"



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flower_of_life

The flower of life is basically a simple geometric pattern which allows for all geometric primary forms to be constructed. You can build in the geometry of "the flower of life" all 2d shapes [circles, triangles, lines] and all 3d shapes [cubes, pyramids, spheres etc.] and other shapes like octagons, pentagons etc. all just by connecting different points together. Sort of like a blue-print for all geometry.

The flower of life goes further though, in stating that all life 'builds' from increasing complexity of geometry within the flower of life. For example, an embryo starts as a point, then as two spheres [line] then as four then as a diamond [8 spheres in diamond 3D positions] etc. If you look at the flower of life, those are all the shapes covered in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th increments.

All kinds of other religions have based concepts and ideas around the flower of life, its motif is found everywhere and it is very old.

Another example: the Christians see creation as the 7 first geometries [spheres] of the flower of life, known as the "seed of life":



Well now there is the mathematical theory of a geometric structure which could actually embody "what our universe looks like". This structure is known to math heads as the E8.

The E8 is an 8 dimensional sphere with 248 points [vertexes].

If you classify in math the shapes and dimensions which can be transformed into symmetrical groups, ie dimensions or shapes which allow symmetrical translation, and you don't limit yourself to just 3 dimensions, you end up with 9 groups: 4 of them are infinite, 5 of them are finite.

Of the infinite, one of them is 3 dimensional space we live in. These 4 infinite groups have no bounding shape, meaning that their space has no limits. of the 5 finite groups, they are symmetrical, but only when bounded together by a fixed shape. Of the 5 exceptional ones, the largest/most complex possible mathematically is E8.

According to the math-heads, E8 is the largest possible symmetrical group you can create that is finite; kind of like saying its the 'largest primary number possible' - if it were possible for primary numbers to have a 'largest' limit.

E8's underlying math was only finally described in terms of a complete formula [mathematical representation] this year, so it's a new discovery in mathematics.

Being 8 dimensional, its kinda hard to visualize in 3D or 2D. This image is how it looks if flattened in 2D:



The logic to build it follows this little drawing:



This diagram gives a visual summary of the root structure. Each node of this diagram represents a simple root. There are 8 roots in E8, and from these 8 roots you can build the entire 248 set of points. A line joining two simple roots indicates that they are at an angle of 120° to each other. Two simple roots which are not joined by a line are orthogonal [at right angles to each other].

So basically all roots are either at 120 degrees or 90 degrees to each other. So either in fourths or thirds of a full rotation.

You can make a 3D model of the root points, if you do so, you end up with something like this:



What makes this geometric structure so exciting to the science-heads is that physical reality may result from different facets of the symmetries of E8.

If we take all the different forces and particles, they match up with the resulting points on E8. When you match all the points to all the known forces and particles, 20 of the points on the E8 are left unmatched, these "gaps" could, for example, represent particles which some physicists predict to be associated with gravity [but not yet detected].

Physicists have long puzzled over why elementary particles appear to belong to families, but if you look at the E8 model, this arises naturally from the geometry of E8. Furthermore, so far all the interactions predicted by the geometrical relationships inside E8 match with observations in the real world.

Proof or disproof will probably be achieved when the new particle accelerator in Switzerland opens.

At the moment many different theories are betting on them being right... will it be Standard model theories? String theories? M-plane theories? or this new E8 which make the accurate predictions?

If it does turn out to be the E8 which holds the flame, the implications are quite extra ordinary because it means that our entire universe's fundamental under workings and forces can all be described as a 248 point 8D geometric sphere... how weird would that be???

If this does turn out to be true, what relationships does this E8 have to the flower of life? Are the two related?

Wouldn't it be interesting that the most fundamental [finite] [micro] aspects of reality would be described by the most complex [finite] [macro] symmetrical object we know exists...?

If it is true that our reality can be described by an object which resides in the 8th dimension and which has a finite limit, how does that relate to our 3rd dimension? Is the 3rd dimension "bound" by the limits of the 8th? Or is the 3rd dimension unbounded but simply intercepts with the 8th dimension in local space-time? can this model be integrated with m-plane theory? Or is the theory of E8 and 11 dimensional membranes incompatible?

As always, new answers will mean new questions... isn't life good that way?
:)

The wiki page for the flower of life is:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flower_of_life

If you don't mind the tone of voice, you can find more about the E8 theory here:

telegraph article on E8 theory of everything

Impossibly difficult to understand for non-math heads information about the E8 specifically can be read at:

wikipedia's E8 page
and here:
http://aimath.org/E8/e8.html




.

Ken Wilber: A Brief History of Everything

Just finished this book, wow - I've learned so many things; this book is truly a must read for everyone, no matter your area of interest or focus.

What comes after post-post modern?
What is the 'new' human perspective on life, the universe and everything?
Ken's got some vital part to play in those answers...

Some of the things I learned:

- Various ideas I had were verbalized by Ken in very clear terms, which has helped me to find greater clarity in my own ideas; while simultaneously helping me to see the limits of some of my current/older ideas.
- Patterns of evolution [of species and ideas] in terms of integration & transcendence [instead of just transcendence]
- Seeing reality as a mixture of 4 main domains of truth [instead of just "true" and "relative"]: objective, subjective, collective and systemic.
- Seeing system thinking as only a component within this 4 domains [instead of as the "new" truth beyond reductionism aka objective causality]
- Drawing parallels between psychological levels of development and human evolution of culture/thought
- Being able to see at once the absolute value of all things as well as relative value between all things [instead of one mode of thought denying the validity of the other]
- Seeing the parallel between psychologyical development and the development from egopesonal to transpersonal
- Seeing the link between psychological and spiritual development as simply two parts of the same chain
- Learning much about the previous history of philosophical development and its manifestation in cultural / anthropological manifestation
- Seeing limits I did not existed in the retrograde eco-centric philosophies present in many ecological movements
- Seeing that the thought -> creation approach to life [echoed in 'the secret', or 'seth speaks'] is only part of spiritual/evolutionary development because personal development is only one fourth of the picture: spirit manifests as self, collective and objective, so true spiritual evolution also includes [not excludes] the acknowledgment of other, of system, and objective realities of absolute and relative value.
- Seeing that meditation, spiritual paths, are also incomplete unless combined with left brain subjects and collective subjects [balance the right and left brain, collective & individual, the external & internal etc.]
- Seeing the dichotomy and link between rights and responsibilities in terms of holarcharchy [a term which Ken uses to describe a hieacrhy of holons, holons are both parts and wholes; both selves and parts, holons: according to Ken, make up everything in the universe].

My criticism of his book is:

- Sometimes too emotionally evolved which results in some meandering.
- Some ideas are repeated a bit too often, especially 4/5ths of the book on, fortunetly one can speed read over paragraphs that repeat and then pick things up further on - the last pages provide brilliant ideas in short and solid concepts just when one thought that he was done with new ideas and rambling.
- He can be a bit negative about current/previous modes of thinking; which leads to the emotional stances, which on the one hand challenges us to take action; but it also implies not seeing the value of evolutionary progression [even if incorrect] because, as Ken Wilber also states, no level of understanding final: each level has new understanding, but also new problems.
- Not enough pages are devoted to solutions, and the description of the 'problems' are wordy and repetative at times.
- Some information is implied but not given, like what are the other 15 properties of holons he refers to? [he wants us to read his other book where they are listed]
- Some points he makes could do with more referencing to data/sources he implies but does not state.

but regardless of these criticisms, the sheer quantity of new keys and perspectives from this book are so profound and numerous, I would be a fool to give it anything but 5 stars and best book of the year award - hands down.

Inside lost and found journals we now find...

Flowing the spirals of time. Nitched and locked in the golden line.
Peace in the unlimited bareness of open being.
No layers to hide, an open heart.
Memorized by gratitude & grace.
Your calls spring in the wind.
A time for place. A time for space.

When your being lets down its final fight - you will absolve your last fright.
Naked you cloth the sky in layers of arctulated care.

A hard turn, a calculated click. And life whirls a new trick.
Always more than before, forever changing when once there was nothing more.
Creation starts with a dream like thought.
Forging time concsious naught for bought.

Imagination will provide you with solstice, young flying farewell care free bee.
Be hearty now & laugh with glee; for all of this kingdom is for just you and me.

Free spirit weave your tale well - & remember to good care of your magic spell.
We salute you fare well.

2007-09-07
S. Chedal, Permaculture intensive course, Angel Camp, California, USA

Some new scans of artwork

Hi following friends,

Some new pages in my journals were scanned today, apparently I had forgotten to scan the last 5 worthy pages; I was in Australia at the time I made these drawings.

Assuming you have already seen the other pages, start at this link and click 'next' till you hit the end of the album:

http://picasaweb.google.com/seb.chedal.art/2006TravelingJournal/photo#5134271561140035074

In parellel, I'm drawing again new stuff, this time though I seem to be going back to previous pages and working on them as I work on new pages... so while I am uploading these drawings, many of them are unfinished, or I thought they were finished and then I added something new to them again... so this is more of a 'current view' state of how they look today; as I alter them I supose I'll rescan and re-upload - maybe I'll even do some fancy before-after organization in the albums; we shall see.

Without further ado, some of my new work:

http://picasaweb.google.com/seb.chedal.art/2007ArtJournal

homes in france

hello my friends,

here i am

waves crashing with speckles of dancers in their white curls
weathered tempered homes of elderly stones freckling mazes of mediteranian

my mother and i are in the sun again, in the south of france
its a time to spent together, a vaction, but also not
my mother is looking for a home here - drastic changes are in the air.

the wind has come, and to its call, little thought is placed; the wind guides us, movement beggets direction, direction preceeds reflection.

from these shores a wave is sweeping across my life, and the life of my mother. amsterdam is rapidly becoming a place of different perspectives. by next year neither myself or my mother will be calling it 'home' any longer.

with any change comes nostalgia, fears and the excitement of the unknown; magical little experiences along each day that are unleached from the bounds of the routine. guides, miracles, distractions, trials and triumps.

change brings growth, i becon this manifestation; and pray that change will not preceed regression. evolution, becoming - this is every person's calling; to become more than they once were - through experience we are; and never are what we once were - and yet we all still are (if you can read this, you exsist).

personally ive been pilling on new trials of self disciplin; in parallel to each other and other developments in my life. its interesting to note that if you try and accomplish too many changes in parallel you run the risk of messing up on one routine of disciplin; which can cascade instantly and make you fail on other trials of self disciplin... the challenge is to not only limit how fast you try and make the self grow/change; but also in the seperation of different levels of growth from each other... its all too easy to fail at one thing and then give up defacto on others in that same instant - at least, i can observe this potential.

as this year continues, the year which i themed the year of 'love'; back in december 2006, i can observe a whole string of different perspectives, questions and self-trials that have occured - as i quest to obtain an even deeper understanding of the nature of the matter.

i'm nearly done with ken wilbers book, and i can really say that the ideas here have made my underestanding move beyond previous levels of understanding so rapidly - i'm already at a point now where i feel that i am 'beyond' permaculture. beyond in the sense that i can see how system thinking fits into an even larger realm of integral psychology/philosophy. none of this is going to alter my ideal to get certified as a Permaculture Instructor - i decided a few weeks ago to take such a course in Portland in 2008; if anything, this even larger view integrates things even further into the realms of value-systems.

This all ties into my philosophy project; ive completed a rough mind-map of all my ideas - its looking very likely that i will complete my chapter (card/deck) outline by the end of 2007; right on schedule.

other news: phillip pullmans: 'his dark materials': book 1: 'the golden compass' movie is coming out in december! im sooo excited! magically i have a press pass!

some other goals for 2008 include:

* massage cert. (at least 50% completed)
* permaculture teach trainer cert.
* horticultural software alpha
* book/card book idea developed
* native american focus (for burning man 2008 and/or by visiting a retreat in oregon/washington)
* new music live set completed in 2008 for nez live performances in 2008/2009
* at least 1 gallery expo in 2008 of my artwork in parrallel to attempts in portland to situate my art as a parallel focus (music is no longer my #1 focus and now holds place in parallel with 'art')
* develop new art ideas relatd to expo (traditional, photographic, installations and multimedia [audio-video] interactive displays)
* get an eco job; or a job i beleive in (only do what you believe)
* develop my lecture topic for BM08; probably related to my deck/book idea.
* add lighting techniques to my photography skills/knowledge so i can start making my own photosessions for artwork (live model/fashion integration)
* save enough money in 2008 to meet my personal savings/year target so that i can eventually buy land (at an as yet unknown future sapce time-location)

this might seem a lot for 2008; but i'm sure i can achieve at least 80% of these goals; that seems to be my general trend.

more to follow on my years theme of love at year end, plus a 'best of' 2007 review concerning music, ideas, art i have seen.

from the surfing lands of southern france, i toast my croissant to you.

Dance Monkey Dance!

the BEST internet movie clip I have EVER seen is BACK! After more than a year of being 'no where to be found' on the internet.

This really is a MUST see!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a15KgyXBX24

;)


Enjoy!

Seb.

washington/portland photos

hello yawl,

new photos uploaded to my album:

http://picasaweb.google.com/schedal

Silverfalls: a 10 water fall trail in the Oregon forest-mountains
Portland pt.1: some photos of friends in the first couple of weeks I stayed there
Multanoma falls: Aprille and I on our first day traveling around Oregon
Smith rock: Aprille and I on our second day traveling around Oregon
Washington state road trip: Various photos over a period of 6 days traveling around Washington state on my own by car and tent.
Portland pt. 2: photos from the last week after my return from Washington + some photos from other friends of mine.
Hoh rain forest: Photos from a temperate rain forest in Washington state.

Hope you like them.

Seb.

Into the rabbit hole,

Dearest friends all across this blue world,

This is a scary post to be writing, somehow.

These last few months I was eagerly awaiting a 'hunch' - some kind of intuitive feeling that told me that a certain place was calling me. This calling came from...

Are you sure you want to know where? Isn't this where we have a final commercial break?

Maybe you had better grab some tea or coffee, or go to the loo, and contemplate life for about 10 min, and then keep reading this post. That would make it read more like a good television program... [and give me time to do some final editing]
;)

Ok, ok, I'll tell you.

If you take the first letter of every word on wikipedia's subject of emethiologiums, and reverse it - you will get an anagram of prime numbers which translate to where I am moving to; minus the first two letters, which you will find in the first 2 posts on my blog hidden under the shadow of a water mark.

Not buying it? Hey! Don't get angry!!! I'm just playing!

I've decided to try my luck at living in Portland, Oregon.

Just kidding!

Ok, ok, no, I'm not kidding, yes: portland oregon!

A totally unexpected direction; especially since just a few months ago I thought I wouldn't be visiting / let alone living, in the USA any time soon.

It's impossible to say what life will be like, but from the short time I spent, I have a good feeling.

Well, why Portland?

Well for art, music, permaculture courses, massage courses, and spiritual pursuits this seems like a good place.

There are a large percentage of green jobs around, so I'm hoping that I can also find some work I believe in.

People and community are very strong, as you have all probably ascertained, I've met lots of people already there; so this is one factor that is already sorted [I don't have to wonder what kind of friends/people I will meet there cause I already know many people].

Culturally there is also something I quite like about the way people think and interact.

Nature access is great; mountains, forests, beach and hot springs; all fairly close to the city.

The negative points of Portland are, as far as I can see: Rain's half the year, people drive lots of cars, it's in the USA, it's further from my mother than England.

Well, England and Holland also get lots of rain, and the weather in NZ in the winter is also not that great; so really this is a bit moot. I was just there in the rainy season, and I felt that people's moods were not negatively affected; actually, people seemed to be social and creative with the rain coming in, so this makes me feel less apprehensive. The good news is, just a few hours away you can generally find sunshine.

Car's: well, you can get around the city no problem on a bike, so that reserves car's for just trips. I can live with that.

Its the USA: well, thats a much tougher one. Politics of war, consumerism, capitalism, petroleum, ignorance and abuse of the poor. All i can say is that as long as i can find a way to make a difference on this level, then I am doing my part to make a positive difference in a situation that needs help, not avoidance.

I can't say yet how I plan on making a difference here, but what ever means I select, it will be a way that I feel is mutually beneficial.

One idea is to visit a native American reservation for a few weeks [at some point in 2008]; I'm keen on learning and living with the land's ancestors.

Art is such a big thing in Portland, and as an artist there is quite a few options/entries, so I also plan on putting a lot of energy into my artwork while I am there - a reprioritization of sorts.

The 'further from my mother than England' bit is a tough one. I've considered this point so much already I'm not even sure where to start on the subject. All I can say is that I hope the balance between my personal goals and my responsibilities is functioning properly. I hope I am doing the right thing.

Oh and I'll be heading there in Feb. 2008 - that gives me just enough time to do my taxes here for 2007 and close off things with Holland + move my mother - if she indeed does chose to relocate to France.

the Happy Chrysalis phase

so, what a long flight that was! More than 26 hours traveling and not 3, but 4 planes! Ouch! Gladly I had a bag of books to read. I started and nearly finished Ken Wilber's book: 'a brief history of everything' - this is quite an interesting book, apparently it's a summary of his other book: "sex, ecology and evolution". I think I'll eventually be getting a copy of this title since I would like more depth to the information that is in this book.

*****
Book review: "A brief history of everything" - Ken Wilber
*****

Ken's work combines different belief systems: from east, west, science, holisim, psychology, ecology, politics, theology, philosophy and religeon into a combined vision. Ken is really good at looking for patterns and extracting commonalities.

Ken is a data collector, abstractor, simplifyer. I really like that his ideas are a process of data collection and abstraction - and then not from one disciplin, but all disciplines that are.

I have still a few more pages to go, but in general he covers so far 3 main concepts/areas:

* From the big bang to now: whats the pattern? how does the universe organize its self in terms of information, ideas, physical reality etc.
* What is the commonality of all our different modes of thought/belief. How has our ideas evolved? What is the pattern in that development? What natural groupings of ideas occur?
* What are the commonalities in psychology? How do human's evolve from early years into adulthood? How are ideas of the self and spiritual subjects related to human psychology? What commonalities can be seen in all spiritual belief systems and what is the pattern that all information supports?

*****
the happy chrysalis phase
*****

So, here I am back in Amsterdam. In the last days of Portland, I was happy I got to see a few friends again in the last days - and then quite sad to be going away. The first half of my trip in the plane was somber; although by the time I had to sleep 6 hours on a bench in front of a check in booth, my mood was more neutral than anything! That will cure any emotional state!

Arriving in Amsterdam was strange. 7am, pitch black darkness, the sun kind of rises; it doesn't breaks this dense gray moosh; its cold, it's shades of undefined gray. And somehow, none of this makes a dent on me. Happy; that's all I was; and several days later, that's all I am. I'm excited. I'm in the moment, enjoying the company of friendships and my mother here - I know this place is just temporary - and I know I have the power to alter my reality as needed, I don't feel trapped like I have felt here before.

Ihor my friend from Australia was here for two days before he left again back to the underworld; it was really nice hanging out with him; even if brief.

I'm thankful, and I feel very blessed. Both for the past, my present, and my immanent future.

I believe I've made my decision regarding where I am moving to; but I am going to wait still another week to make sure my decision is not entirely impulsive. So sorry for the suspense! But an end to this Chrysalis phase is near at hand... What I do know, is that I am in Amsterdam now until approximately February 2008; this will give me time to sort out things here, and also assist my mother with her possible life changes.

So yes, within me a bright fire is burning, and nothing external seems to be affecting that light. It was a bit sad leaving Portland, but that melancholy has passed again, and in its place a peace grows.

Its the considered creationist,

Well, here I am, a few hours away from my horrendously long trip back home [3 planes, 6 hour stop over in LAX, more than 20 hours flying - ug!]

I've got a bag of different books to read, a new art journal I am filling with new inspiration, and a place to record my thoughts; so I should be good durring my trip back to Amsterdam.
:)

I've had a lot of things to consider lately.

EGS [positive-living] principles and then seeking out information that challenges my ability to remain EGS [see post on tangetal history].

Then this last weekend at the party I had such a strong venus-like experience; oh I should mention that Venus was out and burning brighter in the sky than I had ever seen in my entire life on that night; it broke through the clouds and left a small shinning hallow and a radiant twinkle - quite surreal.

This exprience; along with a few others lately, has made me ponder of subjects related to sexuality, relationships, connection, pleasure, fears and self-gratification.

It's possibly the newest area for me to work on; now that I have broken out of the previous cycle, I see that the new one I am about to uncover and break this year now is related to my lunar position. At the symbiossis festival we went through all the moons; and the one danger of having a moon in Libra really struck a chord in me that I could relate to. Apparently, people with their moon in Libra tend to be very good and active at balancing the needs of others; but ion the process, Libra-moons tend to forget to balance their own needs in the equation.

I can tell from the internal thought processes I observe in me, that the balance between self-gratification vs. selfishness is not quite formed yet. Some people start from the side of being too selfish, and need to learn to be more generous; for it me it feels like I am disbalanced on the other side of things - and need to get more in the middle.

I'm definately interested in learning more about [tantric] forms of 'sex-drive' control; or rather: re-incorporation; as I think this also links directly into using male energy to create instead of to destroy.

I've had several major art breakthroughs in the last two days.

The most important new one's are:

1. The law of negative inversion
2. The applied eternal principle of the flower of life
3. Balanced creation and destruction cycles: with creation as completion.

Like anything I learn, its cross-applicable to all fields of life - and I am sure these laws just came from some really important new thoughts I've had in relation to procreation.

1. The law of negative inversion

Every element on the page can be viewed in at least two ways.
By making each element serve a minimum of two purposes, breadth opens up in the drawing and every line, form and direction takes purpose. These can be different reflections at the same scale; different connections between different colors/textures, or different meanings to the same line when viewed at different scales [close observation, mid distance, far observation]

2. The applied eternal principle of the flower of life

Every element on the page is alive. Rooted firmly in the [previously learned] art law of "there is no such thing as a 'mistake'", this principle takes the idea of no mistakes and pushes it even further to say that in every line, shape or form some world, life, picture, place, face, state can, will, and is taking form. the artist's job then is to simply uncover this form; to allow it to be expressed by refining it. But to create, one must destroy... which brings me to the next law:

3. Balanced creation and destruction cycles: with creation as completion.

To create something, you have to destroy something. The page starts white; anything you add is a destruction to that purity. Now until now one could say this processes was present; but unconscious. Unconscious in the sense that I didn't observe the pattern of moving between destruction-creation before. If I take a marker and make wide marks without cause or reason, I am seeding the page with potential; by destroying something - then if I go back into the wide marks and then pull-out forms [what I call 'carving'] I am then creating; creating not by interfeering with what was just done; but by accentuating what is dormant within the previously just enacted destruction.

So this connects me back to the male-sexual energies. All too often I've heard: male is destruction/change, female is creation/form. BUT I'd like to challenge this. Each energy also has its opposite manifestation.

Imagine a male energy focused on creation. The trust then is of change, and the drive is forming realty instead of in-jesting it. If I may draw a parallel: This is the male energy that isn't outwardly releasing sperms into the void hoping that one will make it [the pessimistic approach]; this is the male energy that withholds its resources and actively plants its seeds in the places that make the most positive difference to induce growth in a vision that is refined for greater purposes.

I suppose you could call it, a balanced male-female energetic principle. I'm sure the same reversal of energies is possible in female principles; but I'll need a bit more time to formulate that one as my current mental focus was on the masculine.

So back to the art; destruction:creation, and a natural pendulum between them. Now we all know that an art peice isn;'t done until it 'feels' done; but when is that? I believe now that art looks/feels done when every last bit of 'potential-impetus' has been activated. 'Potential-impetus' is what I create when I manifest destruction on the page; I seed it with potential. But until those potentials are finalized by refining each section into its creationist state; it is incomplete.

This is EGS applied to art; its taking reality, and making sure that the way you leave it, is better and more beautiful than [ever] before. It's the considered creationist.

love releasing in the wind...

Well, if you made it to the end of that last blog entry, you probably deserve a medal! That was some serious length and subject typing going on there!

In the last few days I've been to 4 different gatherings / parties and didn't even get to sleep on Sunday at all.

Leaving here in a few days feels so strange, potentially even painful. Every week I just keep meeting more and more wonderful people here, sigh... but thus is life, at this point my path is forward. I trust in that.

So friday I went to a live fiddle, strings, flute jam that kinda sounds folkish, rythmic - with singing but no percussions. People here were in costumes of various sorts, you know: a girl in blue in a box, a guy wearing a penis outfit... nothing out of the ordinary! I had on my semi oriental prince gettup with my silken flowing pants and double button shirt.

I had here a very interesting conversation about the psychology of spiders with a girl with blue hair [Tiffany]. We discussed how a spider has to deal with the fact that every time it catches a meal; it must kill it to live, even though it is helpless and in theory the spider could free it at any time - balanced by the fact that a spider must die to have sex [male eaten by female] or die in the process of birth [female dies when egss are released from her back]. A sort of mercy or closure to the cycle of helplessness as the male comes to terms with his own fate for love - and the female who eats her man; his last gift of sustenance which ensures the woman enough food to give birth - a joint [if slightly delayed] dualistic-joint-procreation-death. For her: birth is her sacrifice. But for the captured; at a certain point the pray must give into the experience of dieing and accept its fate. Only once the captured prey's being accepts its destiny to be eaten [or that it IS being eaten] will it then be able to transcend...
:P

Then we left this party to go for the dub jam session [the same place i was at for the last few weeks]. Naturalist sauna with chanting, beat boxing, singing. Cold outdoor rain, icy pools, outdoor showers; then back into the sauna room for more heat, meditation and peacefulness.

As with each time I've been, there seems to be a few permanent members, and then about half the people there seem to be new; or at least, infrequent visitors.

This time I met a few nice new people, in particular a girl named Kyrsten.

After a few hours of jamming on drums and with a little melodic percussive in a nice music circle, I took my leave and cycled home at about 5am.

Saturday was the big day, cause this was the burning man decompression. It started at 3pm and was set to end at 6am the next day! There was some good names on the line up like Bluetech and ELF.

So many things happened here, I guess the best way to summarize is with a bullet list:

* receiving a rose by a Russian lady
* getting glittered and a henna tattoo
* seeing many many friends of mine that I had met in all the preceding weeks, I now know a good percentage of the community here...
* participating in the monkey chant
* suffering [erotic?] stimulation on this bizarre electric chair which I did not feel comfortable totally letting myself go in [the women seemed generally much more into it, though some guys were really into it too... so its hard to say]
* sharing soup with a very elegant lady from the 1920's who had a painted moustach
* watching a girl do a short private strip tease for me in a booth
* getting my photo in the year book
* writing a love letter which got randomized into a mail box for someone else
* really good conversations about work ideology with a friend: Anna.
* hanging out with a nice stilt walker called jingle and a yellow pirate
* making a complete fool of myself with one girl by not acting when i should have, and then when i did make a move; doing it all incredibly wrong and awkwardly
* being naughty and making out with a girl in the exhibitionists corner
* nibbling off grapes being fed to me by two other girls outside after the party while they practiced tantric [orgasmic] breathing [this was quite the experience, I think one of the girls: Krianna and I will stay in contact]

Aprille was also there, it was really nice to see her again and spend some time together.

In between all this, I went to another concert of an amazing, I am soooo hooked reggae band called:

Groundation

The music was superb; real roots reggae; from the soul, pure message, just ripping - I was so into the music by the end; just dancing away like crazy, tooting at every silent music... it's time's like this that you know music is divine. If you don't know them yet, and you think you could like reggae, I highly recommend this band to anyone. I'm going to pick up "HEBRON GATE" since I heard from a friend that this album was particularly remarkable.

The concert was actually sold out! But some how... I managed to get it! What a blessing.

So yesterday, after a whole day of not really being able to sleep, and semi-down, I went out and bumped into Kyrsten in the street from Friday's dub session. We had a very nice talk in a dinner where she was chilling and we made a 'rendez vous' for tomorrow at 12; I'm looking forward to that. Only 2 more evenings and 2 more daytimes left before I go! How strange... especially since I just keep meeting more and more people here...

Anyways, enough of this talk; I'm going to head to a book store now and grab some titles people have been recommending; a spread of poetry, philosophically stimulating scifi/fantasy and some other more theoretical titles ranging from eco topics to the ancient principles of basic geometry and numbers. I'll need something to kill all that time at the airport on wednesday!!!

love,

Sebastian.

a tangent to tangental history

after a few days leaving the farm, wet, and tired of camping - dreaming of a shower, a fireplace and a good book; i headed through Seattle for an afternoon [nice city, market, architecture, vibe cool] and landed back at Lindsay's house again a day early after a long night searching for camping spots and ending up between the trees along a random river. I expect to be here now for the next 5 days until I depart [by wheel or plane] for my return flight to Amsterdam. It's been great to rest here, take a warm shower, lie by the fire place, snuggle with the cat, shave, cook, i feel like a new man!

tomorrow is the burning man decompression party in Portland! That's going to be phat! I'm so happy to be back here, its amazing to think that I'll have spent nearly 3 weeks here! It's become a sort of second home to me [among many second homes I do decree].

It is also interesting because I feel quite happy to be returning to Amsterdam now - odd because just 10 days ago, I still didn't feel like going back at all [see procrastination blog entry]. The pressure of a return has forced my mind to solidify my state of affairs more clearly. But I'm perplexed in a way that things should be this difficult to decide.

In my journal, list after list is made; diagram after diagram - mapping my wishes, my priorities, my dreams - little bubbles with skills, ambitions are drawn, future scenarios in my head are played out; options are tested, turned, alternated; potential future selves reflect on decisions i never made and ask questions relating to other options never selected... All this, in a series of passing thoughts between the pages of other books, encounters, or a whizzing radio frequency chattering while i drive my car about the latest sale [only 9.95, buy now!], jesus christ's love, or your eternal damnation, war justification propaganda or just some scot's man competing with david letterman's life long rein of television for capitalistic endeavors... these are the days spent behind the wheel - my car on cruise control, the belly of my machine filled with iraqi oil, the windshield wipers polishing a view of the falling yellow autumn leaves, gray skies engulfing my 6 windows as reservoirs pass behind the corners of my eyes, my shoes set beneath the radiator to dry...

so yes, i've been reading a lot lately. Lindsay is such a librarian, we also have many great talks about many a wide topic - very philosophical; which is - if you haven't noticed, something I enjoy most thoroughly.

in the current clamoring of books, I'm reading - among other titles [simultaneously going back and forth]:

"the never ending story"
"a peoples history of the united states" pt 1 and 2 and,
"set speaks: the unknown reality" [book 3]

the never ending story is wonderful, the movie only goes about 2/5ths into the book, and changes a few important details, omits certain parts - it's a good read, a recommended titled, and I've been reading with a dedication these last days. There are lots of important messages here, one of the dozens of topics that echo my life is:

imagination [yeah, here it is again]: according to the author: if we do not value it, our lives end up becoming stifled, gray and meaningless - There is strong parallel in this book to my belief that: "imagination IS creation" - without imagination, life remains 'as-is' and change is impossible. You need imagination to create growth, change. The book goes directly into social problems in society and makes the parallel that when mankind rejects imagination, fairy-tales, stories and other forms of alternate realities: it in turn destroys itself, because it has lost all ability to recreate itself: to imagine change beyond the present: for by accepting only the 'known' you accept only the past; there can thus be no future. The people become locked into a reality which can not change because they have lost the ability to dream, and this in turn becomes a walking death... [ha-hum! deep for a kids book, eh?]

"A peoples history of the united states" is a terribly interesting, yet painful read. It accounts the history of the united states not through the eyes of the government, politicians, common-press; but through the changes and histories of the people involved. The public; the 98% or so of the people who actually experienced the history, which we are often not told; but also of the people's affected BY the colonizing Americans. There are a lot of interesting strong points here; one of the first important ones is the re-accounting of the initial spanish [european] affairs with the indians [native americans]. I knew there was blood shed and atrocities; but the scale and sheer repugnant irony of it was thus unconnected. From between the genocides [over decades and centuries] you really feel that there is a few key underlying issues:

1. Man's belief that something can be "possessed" leads him to destroy that which he desires in an ever perpetuating cascade into darker and darker domains which seem unbreakable as the debt only increases and each preceding shame leads to deeper, shifting, destruction. [indian genocide [hate] -> slavery [racism] -> war's etc. etc.]

2. The more technologically advanced the weaponry of a civilization, the more extensive the level of control one can exert on their OWN people.

3. The poor and lower class citizens are time-and-time again both the one's who suffer the most from each and every event in history; and those who are the most easily manipulated because of their suffering.

4. The rich are generally unshifting, despite 'revolutions' or 'independence' [there is little to no movement between the classes over all of american history [and I can guess its the same globally]] - their political power struggles between themselves create historical events, manipulations, policy and propaganda that affects the laws, cultural norms, psychology and reality that ultimately feeds off of the livelihood of the poor for the direct benefit of the rich-man's coffer. The blood of the poor spills [literally] so that the rich can get richer.

This human obsession with "more", power, acquisition leads to the destruction of those beliefs that are sustainable, timeless, harmonious. It corrupts both itself, as well as those around it, and ultimately destroys both the beauty it sees; as well its own [beauty here defined as a metric of its internal-value]. And yet, it also perpetuates, expands - and like any creature on this earth - it shifts and adapts. It is perhaps as undying as any creature on the earth ["it" being the as-yet unformed knowledge of consciousness-aware living]. The night to humanities light. The tsunami that periodically removes the old so that new may grow. It, the less-desired-virtues-of-man, is not what we cherish most; but perhaps it is also not what we are when given a chance to be who we truly are.

Regarding racism, isn't it ironic that a group of people go off to another country, kill the men, women and children - enslave them, bring them back and make them serve them, torture, abuse, hang, burn and rape them, and then they hate them and think that they are superior? This is quite illogical! The only possible psychological explanation is that the guilt from the white-man's acts are so extreme, that the only [seeming] recourse for the psyche is to build an explanation around its actions retroactively. Otherwise, their system of beliefs would crumble - for all men want to think of themselves as good; and are unfortunately often un-self-forgiving. Responsibility for one's actions; admitting wrong when wrong: these are basic traits which seem lacking. Instead it's: "I killed you because you deserved it"; "i treat you badly because you needed it"... when will people learn the basic virtues of life?

The irony is that the virtues that these people [in this case: the white-america] need are actually contained within their religion; and in their laws - but in a mystifying feat of self-deception; an entire people live on with the guilt of self-perpetuated misgivings. A sad affair, still reflected, perpetuated and very well alive [though modified] in the 21st century.

It is a tough cycle to break; certainly from within. I sometimes wonder when facing the great wave, what can anyone do? how can anyone make a start; without loosing themselves under the wave [without making a mark and thus: an effort waisted]? Is this simply the cycle of vishnu [destruction-creation] - the cyclical processes of consciousness? Are we drawn to these times to come to terms with the unstoppable? Or is it our place to stand up and make a stand; even if they know it is in vain, to be swept in the wave; at any cost? certainly many before me have tried; many in vain - but not all - some had made a mark; many have made a difference, but it is always so small... at least, the impact seems so. The history, told from any side will always show that those who held virtues of greed, power at the expense of an other, and other less-valued beliefs, remain for the most either unaffected; or easily replaced. History, that is, as told by the western society: the perpetrators; but not all mankind has lived in this duality before; this duality need to be the norm...

The conclusion I had come to, back in 2001 - after about a year of continual internal debate regarding if I should become an activist [i was quite charged that year with all the ongoings in the USA], was that the best way I could make a difference was to focus on my self, those around me, and the spreading of a positive view; a positive world, as much as possible. My 'activism' lies within my immediate means. I still firmly stand behind this belief.

If I were to conjure a solution; I think what is needed is for people, and I mean now everyone: so all classes and creeds, to really have a vision for humanity. But what would make an even bigger difference, is the combination of not fearing death with a new set of morals which would encompass such things as:

[i brain storm now, so this list is not complete, nor final]

* a belief that we, you, i, humans are NOT superior to any thing, person or animal. We are a part of the world, not above it. We ALL deserve to live, we all deserve happiness, and there is always enough to share. We once thought the earth was flat, then we thought earth was at the center of the universe.. one day we will [re]realize that humans are not at the TOP of the food chain, we are simply a part of a food-web. We are not 'above' nature, we 'are' nature - we are our environment. This non-superiority is both internal: between each other human being, and external: between mankind and all other animals/creatures/things.

* a rejection of the idea of ownership. "things" should be shared, used, as needed. if things are shared as they are needed; everyone has what they need, no one has things they don't need, there is no suffering, and no greed: two primary causes for war, hatred, fears etc. This is not as far fetched as it seems since if you look at any sustainable civilization in the past: ie one that neither taxed nor destroyed its environment, these cultures all practiced forms of non-ownership - it is quite easy to have this cultural norm; one easy way that it takes hold is simply through cultural-social pressure. I regress: if you can IMAGINE it; it can [will] come true. It has already for thousands of years globally in recorded human history...

The Native Americans had some very interesting differences in terms of governance, and I'm curious to learn more about the details of this anthropology. There were seemingly a vast array of differences in how they viewed social organization. No land possession rights [i have read some beautiful quotes that state: "the land is our chapel, the sky is our roof"], there was no marriage that bound people together in terms of possession, women were equals and in some ways more better off than the men, they had no material possession rights [you shared what you had, surplus always divided, those who needed something used it within reason / respect], and they were anti-government, anti-taxes... to them, man was self ruling. Why would anyone pay money to another? No laws, no written rules, no prisons, no set rulers - people knew what was right from wrong; and if someone did something wrong; they would know it because of the reaction of their peers until everyone felt that they had regained their trust by deed or word. If a common goal needed to be achieved, they united together to enact that goal instead. And yet they lived in affluence at more than 25 million people, for years and years - a very large number for being non-industrialized, non-central government organized - before the arrival of the Europeans.

It seems to me that the only reason white man is 'superior' here in the history books, in our reality of the present [superior now in-terms of being: white society prevailed: dominated; Indian society declined] - is because white man relied on the lack of virtuous-virtues: deceit, corruption, hatred, murder, greed all at the expense of their own people [the whites using indentured servants / black slaves and the poor] to obtain more and more in a futile quest for acquisition of something which is fundamentally meaningless... It's the same scenario as with racism: "Our civilization kills yours; that makes us better; we are superior because... we can kill you and did". The reliance on negative social characteristics doesn't prove superiority; it only creates suffering - and this suffering will ultimately decay those [people, societies, cultures, nations] who wield it - a decay which broods from within, until reconciled. For it is not only the slave who suffers, but also the master; both are tied in a duality of suffering.

In the Alchemical view of transformation: every transformation we undertake in the world; changes both subject and observer. When I give love; I am love. When I kill, i kill myself. When I hate, i become hate. When I build a building, I build myself... and so forth...

Would it not make more sense for a people to quest for equality, freedom and stability; than for a people to strive to become powerful, monolithic and expansive while becoming ever more corrupt, deceitful and judgmental in the process? Frankly this idea that 'capitalism: the quest for personal-greed equates the best for all mankind' is the most ridiculous set of moral standard codes I think my being has ever laid eyes upon. Its truth so transparent I can only fathom it's this very transparency which has caught so many souls in its web...

There are many other areas to go into... science is an interesting subject; especially because it is so closely linked to three important modes of thinking:

- reductionism
- separation of subject from observer
- progress = solution

Which leads me in a tangent to another important key understanding to how reality works [geez this is turning into a real magmalian-posting!]

* in this reality [ie, earth-worldy place] to create anything, you must create its opposite*. Therefore every "truth" you can say, implies that an opposite truth also exists. The chair which is good for you to sit on; is bad for the tree you just killed [or the mushrooms that would have bred on the decaying log], the birds that used it and so forth. To have light, there must be darkness. To be alive, there must be death. But this also extends to concepts: to believe there must be a god is to imply that there can also be none. To imply that you can understand the world by observation, separation and reductionism [aka commonly accepted scientific principles of thought] is to imply that you can ALSO understand the world through subjective-experience, application and holistic thinking [system, integral, artisan processes].

*: (in all honesty any discussion about opposite [but one] "dualities of creation" is incomplete unless I also discuss trianary-binding principles; but this is an entirely different tangent which I hope to eventually cover here in a future post, or in my book/card/art project[s]]

If you only look at the world through science, you will never really have, in my opinion, a complete picture of the fundamentals of our universe/reality; though you may make great discoveries, and clearly will invent great things. The same applies to one who thinks only holistically and by doing so creates great meals, working systems and balanced social networks. Neither is superior, they are equivalent but oppositely expressed. We find this duality in other places, like the human brain: with left and right brain separation of function. Would you conclude that a man who thought only with this left brain, at the expense of the right, was truly a man of learned wisdom? The problem [if i can call it that, because i don't really believe in problems, i see it more like: 'potentials'] is that people currently think still that through science we will [eventually] understand "everything"... without even tackling the problem of knowing 'everything', there are are serious limits to scientific thinking... I can list dozens in many a field of thought... some of these include:

- the fact that something must be destroyed [example: dissected] to acquire knowledge. If you acquire knowledge by destroying something, you "kill" that which you are seeking to embody in the process... if we must kill to understand, will that not leave us alone in the universe? HOw can you understand the universe if you are destroying it in the process? To control something does not, in any way, imply that you understand it; rather its the opposite. If you tame a lion and observe it in a cage; you no longer know the lion. You have broken it; killed its spirit and eliminated something very real [yet not physical]: its culture, its honor, pride, its context...

- oberserver: participant split is a key issue in science. How do you 'know' what joy is? Do you define it, or experience it? What tests can you perform to understand joy? And if you never experience it, can you understand it? Clearly experience is just as much a form of valid knowledge as information is... and yet we devalue experience continually, claiming it is 'unverifiable'; qualitative judgments... but what is life then?

- science can't deal with anything that equates to infinity. And yet infinity is an important element of not only the world, but science itself. This is not an 'unknown' limit, scientists are well aware of these limits; but it glosses over this limit rather easily.

In fact, if any formula equates to infinity [or is divided by zero] they say: "well, this something which we can't understand, so something must be still wrong with the equation" - mathematics - and thus science, in this context, is limited to observable phenomena. Measurable-materia. Science, unlike holistic thinking, is unable to understand that 1+1 = 3. That the sum is often greater than the whole. That consciousness can exist when born of a collection of individual living cells. And yet in the world we constantly see this principle: the one of 1+1 = 3.

Despite entropy [the law of diminishing returns] the universe continually creates more and overflows with abundance - structure from structure. Chaordic evolution. Life on this small world fills every crack of every pore and teethes with fertility.

- science can't tackle any of the worlds most fundamental philosophical questions, and yet people [subconsciously?] treat science as if it was a philosophy or a path that leads to wisdom. Intelligence is NOT wisdom! Just because I have a gun, and you have a club doesn't mean I am WISER than you, maybe smarter; but intelligence without wisdom is but a child without guidance. But we are often guilty of this association... we equate 'progress' : having a bigger, faster, better weapons, planes, with evolutionary-wisdom.

'why are we here?', 'what is the meaning of life?', 'what is intuition?', 'what is life?', 'what is freewill?','what is time?', 'what is mater?' none of these questions have answers in science, although it is true that they have probed the effects and properties of such things, and yet many of these are topics fundamental questions that scientific-probeans ponder to answer already for many a time thus far told...

Progress is associated to science, there is this bizarre and yet so ingrained belief in the majority of all people that 'progress' really will solve things [later]. And yet if you look in anthropology, at the history of mankind, its precisely when we start making 'progress' that our cultures expand, and then collapse - the romans, the chinese [twice] the incas, the babylonians, the sumarians, the egyptians, they never sustain from a pursuit of 'better'; precisely the opposite results. 'Progress' implies something important: it implies that something new is put into the equation, in other words, it implies a change in equilibrium, disbalance. When the west invents an iphone; this doesn't help to create equality, rather it provides yet another device that people have to work [harder] for, increases the 'norm' in the western world, and the employment in the poor for less and less [currently in 3rd world countries]: it expands disbalance to the system and does not feed or cloth anyone in the process. A disbalanced equilibrium requires time to stabilize [assuming it is sustainable to being with]. It also takes far more time to reach an equilibrium than it does to destabilize a system.

There is a big difference between inventing something because of necessity and inventing something to create relative superiority.

"ethical-progress" would be one which worked to promote three ethics [which I borrow from permaculture theory]:

- care for the earth [ie what supports me, and all my co-exsisting neighbors]
- care for people [care for each other]
- redistribution of surplus

Progress should be measured not by what gadget we have, or how much bigger our bombs are, or fast our planes can now fly [as after all, the faster you move, the faster you run out of gas...] - true progress should be measured by how slow we can move and still arrive on time, by how well we have created equality - both within as well as without our culture. If our land is healthy, it means we are healthy [a concept from eco-psychology]. If our fellow animals and trees are living happily, it is a sure bet that we are too. The concepts of judgment, superiority [to anything], and ownership only lead to disbalance, suffering and eventual demise.

Which brings me full circle, back to the book [finally] because, as you may already have guessed, the american indians [native americans] had these ethics; as did the African's that America in-slaved [although to be fair both the American Indians as well as the African's had their share of cultural problems/historical misgivings: African's were known: for example, to also have practiced slavery between themselves - these ethical inacles are afterall universal, and not race, creed or culture specific - it is an eternal trial of man to be a man, to be what is right from what is wrong]...

Did you know that Holland was the largest trader/collector of slaves for the first phase of the slave trade the to America's? It still baffles me that the Dutch still celebrate 'Saint Nicolas' with his ship of slaves every year at Christmas time... and trot about claiming its 'not racist'?? When will the dutch realize their part in slavery?

BTW: Off topic now, but I recently found out that the children's toys produced by walt disney use child labor in 3rd world countries. I thought that was a particularly crazy twist of madness. Nothing could be more sick [=morally conflicting], in my mind, than being the CEO of that company... but that's another story.

On other fronts:

The e.g.s. [see past post] is at work, and i must say it not only works very well; but it also provides a bench mark for tracking my daily thoughts. I find that in general I only need to use the EGS about 1 to 3 times a day; and usually for just (half) a second. So far there has only been one day where I really needed it and it was harder to implement [but that was in the area of love/relationships - which, by any account, is probably a greater test of ones self than any...]

I'm starting a pro-biotic cure; since my stomach is still sensitive to acidic foods. My allergy to coconut is gone; I've been eating coconut now for months with no effect! I'm quite proud!

The pro-biotics cure might be necessary though because my stomach needs extra attention that the mind alone is not providing; a crutch so to speak. I've quite coffee again, I can't drink it without acidic backlash. I'm also interested in doing a form of a cure or fast [not a no-food fast, but rather a strict limited diet for a short 30 day period or so] - but i need to research this more before I start it. I'll be looking into a combined fermented foods diet cure with pro-biotic encouragement.

dream eagle out --->

!!!

:-D

Whip northbound, check potatos, slick southwards

Elo, so instead of a gradual travel south, I've opted for a rental car from Portland to use to go up into Washington state / Border of Canada. At the moment I'm writing to you from the farm I wanted to stay at; I decided to visit the farm anyways because of all the great things I'd heard. It's nice here; and its served as a good reminder for how life was in NZ when I was also closer to the land [as it were].

There are new photos loaded, I've finally uploaded pictures from the Symbiosis festival + permaculture intensive. No pictures of Bianca, unfortunately, but I do have pictures of Emily [she's the first girl in the album]. There are lots of great new friends in here, Asaf, Lindsay, Jeff - to name but a few. I love meeting great new friends all over the place! It truly is a gift.

Photo album book 1

Ok, I must be off now, have to catch a ferry off this beautiful island in the morning rainy mist! It reminds me here of the sounds in NZ; or of the bay of islands in NZ, or of the archipelagos of islands near Stockholm.

Many blessings,

Sebastian.

Book ideas in new formation

Elo, so I think I now have a new spin on the book idea I've been toying with. Instead of just writing a book, IO think it may become a combined book + art project + divination card deck. A combination of ideas; categorized into very thin chapters, summarized by a drawing, made in the form of a card, usable either as a deck that one can draw cards from; or as a book that one can read cover-to-cover - or just open a page to.

This would mean that the subject would branch from overlapping concepts found in permaculture, but also esoteric, philosophy, geometry etc. The idea is to still achieve a broadening of awareness in the wester-urbanite; but the means of achieving this may be shifted...

More details to follow as I map this new idea to the existing chapter headings/ideas to see if this new format makes sense.
:)

Breaking patterns:

So, after one can identify a pattern in life, the next step is to stop identifying with. How we describe our reality, is how we experience it.

E.G.S.

no, not the kind that come out of chickens,

instead this stands for:

Emotional Guidance System

I'm doing an experiment. For the next 30 days I'm working on eliminating every thought from my mind that is not positive; this is my latest self-development process in becoming a true 100% optimist. I realize that negative thoughts are like the rain; and sadness is also a fully viable emotion - but never the less I'm using this trick that really seems to be working; it goes like this:

every time I feel that my thoughts are not positive [and I catch myself thinking non-positive thoughts] I just say to myself: E.G.S.

This is either enough to get my thoughts back on positive-track [positive mans: something that feels nice, right, good, correct, proper etc.]; or if it is not, I just keep repeating the letters EGS to myself over and over until I feel ready to make a positive thought instead. It works thus a bit like a mantra; because your brain can't construct negative thoughts if its too busy repeating the words EGS to itself... thus it provides an empty space for myself to either be at one with my emotional state ***without thoughts*** [so that I can release and experience the thought without judgment] and/or for me to switch my emotional state to positive; if its ready to do so.

EGS is an interesting acronym to repeat to myself; because while I am repeating the letters I sometimes also think: "what did that mean again? oh yeah: Emotional Guidance System" this word-image is quite cool, because it implies that I now have a system that guides me; a way to keep myself floating irregardless of happenings. Another acronym would have worked just fine, I just happened to come up with EGS, and its been working.

Why this? Why now? and Why 30 days?

I'd like to really be even more of an optimist than I already am; its interesting because I find that being a 'realist/pessimist' was easy: you just decide thats what you are, and then your set. But being an optimist is a life-long mission; it seems that its an ongoing perfecting-process; you are never quite done, there is always another level, another layer; something new to learn...

30 days is something which came up recently. I was telling this guy that it takes 15 or so days for a human to adapt to ANY condition; after 15 days it feels 'normal' if you are in jail or on hollidays. It becomes hard after those 15 days to imagine life as anything other than what it is/has been... this is the human-adaptive advantage [sometimes disadvantage of course].

However this guy said that to apply self-change; through self-discipline, it takes double the time: 30 days. 30 days to change a habit, or to quit something.

So, I figure if I can apply non-stop positive thoughts for 30 days, I should notice some kind of change that I can then take forward with me in time indefinetly. I'm in day 5 now; so still many weeks to go... November 6th will be about 30 days. Wow, so much is bound to happen in the next 30 days... as at the moment every week is a compltly different experience!

As for why this is at all useful; well, I really believe in the power of the mind to create reality. I'm a firm believer that everything that happens in our lives, we attract/[co]create. So if my thoughts are all positive; then more positive things will continue to occur in my life. Positive thoughts stimulate health, awareness, kindness, love, generosity... the list is endless - and even if all it does is change /improve my disposition, our mental states are so easily picked up upon my others.

It also ties into: radical self reliance and radical self expression.

I am 100% emotionally self reliant: ie my positive state of mind is permanent and [for the most part] unmodifiable by external conditions. This includes everything from relationships, location, health, finance etc.

I am 100% self expressive because if I am expressing myself fully: i automatically feel good about what i am doing. If I feel good about what i am doing, then I am following my E.G.S. - in reverse: following E.G.S. means that to feel good about myself, i am expressing who i am to the fullest extent I want to express myself - its a chicken-egg loop.

For those who know the movie: 'the secret' this entire concept of E.G.S. occurs in that [far too american-consumerist-culture but still valuable] documentary.